Posted in Soul Searching

I needed to breathe

Because too much space can be so suffocating. 


I needed more space.

A space I can no longer see you.

Or hold you.

Or feel you.

The space where I can breathe a little better.

Just a little easier.

And a little lighter.

Sail away and let the waves drown me.

Wash me down and let me gasp for air.

Because I’ve been captured by the tides.

And the sand.

And the little pebbles rattling under each roll.

And the deep blue ocean.

I’ve been called by the splash of water.

So I will breathe.

Because I can. Because I have to. And I need to.

The world will not stop.

So I have to breathe.

April 18, 2017

@ Puerto Galera, Oriental Mindoro, Philippines πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ ​

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Posted in Battlefield

Messy Heart

Everyone will totally agree with this, A broken heart is the hardest to mend.

At least, that’s to me. 

An open wound caused by accidentally falling from your bike could be healed by any Povidone iodine solution and hydrogen peroxide, alcohol and band aids. If infection occurs, antibiotics are always available. If the wound is deeper, it could be remedied by closing the wounds using stitches or staplers and covering with bandages and tapes, worst is putting in a cast. After several days or weeks, things will get better and the least you would get is your scar. 

Ahh. Scars. Reminder of your pain.

But how about mending a broken heart? I guess no one knows. And it’s a sad story for everybody else. If you accidentally fall (in love) for someone, no amount of self-control will ever make you safe. It could only get better, or worse. No in between. For the lucky ones, they could totally forget about it and move on. But for the not so lucky? Just a messy heart.

I believe that’s what I’ve been getting. Because who would want an overwhelming emotion? Who would want to catch overflowing feelings like a waterfall? Full force at the bottom, even ready to power up a whole town. It’s scary, right? Who would want that. No one wants a messy heart.

And a messy heart is a broken heart. And that’s the worst part of all these.

Posted in Battlefield, Broken

Closure

That’s all I needed. Until I know what I needed, it won’t end. The pain. The healing. The closure. It wraps everything and put things in order. If I need to get over it, I have to hear its end. Because I could never really get going and move on if I won’t face the end. 

Closure. I never knew it was all I needed. Not until now. And it helps. A lot.

Posted in Broken

Okay?

I made a mistake here. And it’s not that easy to admit that. I will keep it short. Attachments are dangerous things. And whether I like it or not, there is an attraction always pulling me in. But there isn’t any repellant! And I always ended up being hurt or used. Not a good feeling. It’s not happiness. It can’t always be like that, few sweet messages leading to constant exchange of words leading to hourly conversations leading to everyday checking in. It’s dangerous. 

I guess, for the guys out there, just to be fair, don’t act like someone who cares when you don’t mean to stay. Don’t keep her hopes up. Don’t lead her the wrong way. Don’t. Just don’t.

And for the girls out there, STOP ACTING LIKE YOU DON’T KNOW IT! You do. You just hope it would change as time goes by. You hope it would be something more, something “different“. Well I will tell you, you don’t have to figure it out. There are only two choices: he likes you or he likes you not. So snap out of it. It is not happiness.