Posted in writing

No More Begging

Please, stay with me. Don’t leave me… I beg you. Please.

I wouldn’t forget using these words. With eyes filled with tears, voice being raspy, and heart being broken. It had been my desperate move. Because I was scared. Because I thought I would die, it just felt like one. Because I hoped and tried. Because I couldn’t just give up…

And because I loved.

I have been running away from my thoughts of this. Of the past that I know is still living in the present as long as I carry it with me. It’s something I can’t do anything anymore. Sadly, it is. And that made me crazier one step higher. It shouldn’t be like that. Love shouldn’t be like that.

Because again, I will say this. Love is gentle. Love is kind. Love is patient. Love is forgiving. Love is not toxic. With the right person at the right time, love shouldn’t hurt. Sure it isn’t easy, but it shouldn’t feel like dying. 

If it does, maybe it isn’t love.

Maybe it was just an overwhelming feeling of affection and care for a short period of time. Maybe it was just a lesson to learn, so it makes us better and wiser. Maybe it was just a temporary lick of happiness. Maybe it is all of that, and not love at all.

Because at present, it made me hard to believe when someone shows affection. It made me cautious of every intention and every word. I’ve become so guarded of my heart, doubtful and hesitant. It has to be earned now, because if I won’t give restraints, I’ll end up drowning in my ocean of tears again. 

If there’s something I would not give easily again, it will be my trust and my pride. Begging is just something I won’t be doing anymore. I know the taste, and the aftertaste. And the result as well. So as long as I’m thinking straight and I’m thinking from the mind & not from the heart, it won’t happen again.

~C

Advertisements

Author:

Well. This is, for most of the time, the hardest part to fill in. Maybe because I am not the type of person who loves to talk about herself. But in this site you can read the pieces of my life, my ups and downs, my victories and defeats. This is the only outlet where my brain can team up with my heart. For everyone who can't construct the words in the clouds of life. Happy reading! ❀️

5 thoughts on “No More Begging

      1. You are welcome 😊. Your blog is really awesome and inspiring. You have a great gift within you.Please continue blogging and inspire people around you 😊. And if you can please do visit my blog and let me know about it. It would be really helpful 😊. This is the link to my blog

        http:// authorabhijith.com

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh wow, thank you. Uhm, I’m just being myself in everything I compose here. Thank you, in you find it that way… really mean so much to me. Thank you πŸ™‚

        And yes, sure. I’ll visit yours. Have a good day!

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s