I have no other option here. Suicide is not something that would kick in me and trigger me. Never in my life. So I suppose, this is what I am left with- just to live.
Thoughts in my head are endless. For the last days I had nonstop heartaches and heartbreaks written raw every fucking time. I turned my page to private so the people who happened to hit the follow button won’t be upset with my ugly writings. I don’t want to drag anyone in same misery, I had to cope up on my own.
And you know what’s the most painful part? It’s the fact that I tried to reach out to people who always told me “I’d be here when you need me”, but no, they don’t. They don’t want to hear your pain, they don’t need to comfort your broken soul. These people. These I call my friends. Where were they when I needed them most?
No where. So I had to keep going and live my life, on my own. Just the holes of my nose above the water.
I needed the comfort. I needed the helping hand. I needed the hugs. I needed my friends. Then I came to the point, do I even have one? Question that I don’t want to answer.
I don’t need anyone anymore. Because that is living. And living it will be even if I am alone.