“I am not lying!”
“I get it. You don’t trust me? Fine. Just talk to me when you do”
“Your paranoia is getting into my nerves”
Yes you do. You are lying. I know that for sure. I don’t know why you have to lie to me. I’m tired of being lied to. I know it so well. But I don’t understand why were you so pissed of me.
I can’t trust you. Because I don’t like your lies. I don’t know what to believe and who to trust anymore. I thought I could trust you, told me you want to. But how?
I was hurt. You’re pissed that I am doubting you. Why wouldn’t I doubt you? You are lying to me. But can’t you see the point of all the confrontation I did? Because I want to work it out. I want to fix what’s obviously broken. I want to resolve the problem and get out of the bubble surrounded by lies. I just simply want you, and not to give up on you. Because I am an idiot to think of that.
“I really want to see you right now. Don’t ask me why”
“I miss you”
Because despite all the arguements, there are these words you keep on telling me. And I want to hold onto that. I needed them. I’m not gonna lie.
If there are words I can’t tell you yet, that’s because I am saving myself. But hey, it’s obvious. That I like you? That I need you? That I miss you? Every. Freaking. Day. But I can’t tell you yet.
Because you have to be honest with me first. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have to deal with it and treat everything we had as an illusion I painted inside my head. You are that beautiful dream I wish I could have when I wake up. That beautiful living dream. I wish it could all be true. I wish you could stop pretending.
Because right now, I can’t save the tears from falling. I am, once again, defeated by my own rules.