It gave me peace, yes. The silence. It lets me evaluate myself thoroughly. Gave me the absolute time I needed to examine this and that. I loved it. The silence.
I had to do it… It helped me on purpose to shut up and put things into its place. I had to. And miraculously enough it always works. It detaches me from things I shouldn’t be attached with on the first place. It always works. I hate to call it this way because it sounds so absurd, but it became my “defense mechanism” a long time ago.
I still have too many thoughts to think about. But at the monent, I don’t have the energy to think of it. Fuck it! I’d just enjoy my silence until I’m no longer intoxicated and drained. This world is full of nightmares.
For the mean time, silence is normal. Silence is safe. And I’m not going anywhere but to keep it that way!