It happened so fast, and it was careless. It would be so pointless to say it wasn’t my intention. Although it really wasn’t. But it just happened. I did. Do I regret it? No. Not in a second. Not in a million seconds after.
I don’t doubt myself right now. I know what I have. I know my capacity. I know my intentions. I know what I am capable, how much I am capable. I’m scared but I don’t doubt myself.
My doubts won’t be about you, too. I don’t doubt you. I have too many trust issues since then. But I’ve fought a damn hard fight to simmer it down. It doesn’t have to be questions about everything. As much as I want it, I’m too scared of everything. But it doesn’t have to be a reason that I should doubt you. No, I don’t.
My doubts? The future. The next part. The what about now. It’s complicated. It doesn’t help that I’m also complicated. But I don’t complain. I’m happy with this. Scared, tremendously scared, but I’m happy. Scarred, deeply scarred, but I’m at peace.
It’s written on my words. Written on my face. Written on my actions. It’s written all over me. I know you hear them, you see them, you feel them.
You don’t have to love me back. You don’t need to say them or show them or prove them. You’re not obligated to return it, or do something about it. You don’t have to love me back. Don’t love me back.