I’m staring at the sky. There are many twinkling stars. It’s vast and endless, full of possibilities, serene. Despite the darkness, I find peace whenever I look up on the sky. It’s just beautiful. Unlike me.
How would it feel to share this moment with someone important to you? I’m staring at the stars, questioning their beauty. How is it possible that I’m million miles away but they captivated me? How is it not possible for me to look for something like that down here? Sitting on the grass, hugging my knees to my heart as I stare at the brightest star: I’m terribly lost. I just realized tears fell down my cheeks. I wasn’t sure why, but I felt heavy, in my head and my heart.
I’ve never felt this alone in my whole life. As much as I want someone to hold me right now and bring my pieces together saying it’s gonna be alright, there’s nobody ready for me. How does it feel, to hold someone’s hand when they’re afraid and hopeless? How does it feel, to embrace them in your arms, protecting them from the pain they are feeling? How does it all feel? I never knew the feeling.
The stars, the sky, the coldness of the breeze, the darkness of the night. I’m still crying. I thought it’s about peace and serenity and solidarity, but why do I feel bad being alone?