Hi. I miss you so much. I’ve been here for hours, typing and deleting words that I want to say to you. My nerves are all electrified and tears are just around my eye sac. Ben, you are the love of my life but I don’t know what is happening to us now.
You came back. I’ve patiently waited for your return and I was very very glad when you came back. But it isn’t the same anymore. The once happy and lively us turns out to be cold and feisty. What happened to us, Ben? Why didn’t you tell me if there’s something wrong… I am pained, bruised and broken but I patch them all to tell myself everything will be okay. We will be okay, and I’m trying my best to understand your situation. But things were not the same.
Sorry because I can’t tell you that you are hurting me already, you’ve been hurting me since you gave the space between us. And I accept them all. I believe if I am capable of loving, I am also capable of being hurt, and that’s okay. Sorry love, that whenever I close my eyes I always imagine your smiles, kissing my forehead while I lean my head on your chest and I try to hear the beats of your heart. How I miss our conversations, real conversation not just hi and hellos. How I always want the old us, but there is fuckn constant CHANGE in this world that I have no control.
I just hope you’re also considering my feelings. Stop flirting with me when you’re lonely and needy. You always know that I’ve fallen in love with your substance and personality. Ben, you mean so much to me more than you could imagine, and I care so much…but you started neglecting me and I can’t see anymore reason to have us back again. Why are you doing this to me?
Please just push me away and intentionally hurt me so I would have a slight idea why we are parting.
With so much love, but is tired,