I know it is wrong, but I am aware I’m still into you. I know I’ve been so dramatic, melancholic, bipolar, clingy and attached, and I hated how I turned out like these because of you, but I am still into you.
I still check my phone from time to time. I still go over your account and stalk your site. I still wait, patiently wait for the beep of my phone. I still think of what we might be talking about until we bore ourself and end up saying good mornings instead of good night. I still miss your hellos, I still love your British accent. I still like the words “my girl” whenever you address me. I still want to nag you at work until you give in and chat with me. I don’t understnd why I am still into you when I know you’re not coming back.
I want to hug you. I want to keep you. I want to say to you how much love I have for you. I want to cling my fingers between you. I want to watch football with you, and you watch basketball with me. I want to spend a vacation in a beach with you. I want to travel the world alongside with you. I want to think of future with you. I want to see you at the end of the aisle.
But you’re not there anymore. You planned your own tomorrow without me. You’re okay without me. And I am still into you.
Can you tell me now how to unlove you? Because right now, I am stuck in the idea of a life with you. This is so much pain I am already lost. I still cry, what the f did I do to deserve this.