Lately, I’m always in the clueless world of decision making. I don’t know how to deal with it since I consider myself as a vulnerable and fragile one when it comes to deciding which is for good or for bad. I know I am old enough to decide for my life, but not mature enough to weigh these things in my mind. I always need to ask somebody or someone just to help me clear things out. The thing here is, I only trust few people, and that each of these people does not all for everything. Like for example my Mom, I could definitely share anything to her, almost all of my concerns and the things that bother me, but never things about my heart, or things regarding my utmost emotions. That thing is now counted for my fewest trusted friends, whom I am not awkward to share. But still, there are stuff I could not tell anyone, things that are torturing me inside, that I know no one will ever understand unless they’re experiencing it right in time within my shoes… Until I almost forget that there will always be someone who’s there to listen to you. He already knows what’s bothering you even you’re not speaking a word. He’s love and care, and words and touch has healing powers that lingers into your very soul. What He just asks from us is to go and call for Him, to say it aloud and mention your concerns. He is one GREAT and BIG God. At times I forget that He’s just here and there, ready to listen and help me out more than anybody else. And yes, during the hardest times, I just close my eyes, bow down and talk to Him through prayers. I don’t actually pray, I tell him stories. I narrate every single pain inside me, and I don’t know but everything that’s confusing me fades and lightens. Before I have lots of fear. I am almost afraid of everything, I always have these “what ifs” and then everything that’s too ugly follows. But then realizing that His love is present, that He is majestic and powerful, my fear was eaten whole by my faith. There is where I realized, I’m not really alone and that someone is watching over me, helping me, cares for me.
Through our deepest sorrow, we don’t need to mourn always. Yes, we can’t get the thoughts of sadness off. But if we only know that there’s a right person to go to during these times, we’ll always end up winning the battle inside us.
And yes, the promise of peace and love follows within our hearts.
“And He said: Cast your burdens upon me, those who are heavily laden. Come to me all of you who are tired of carrying heavy loads. For the yoke I will give you is easy and my burden is light. Come to me, and I will give you REST.” – Matthew 11: 28
Go and fear nothing! We have our powerful backup! 🙂 God bless everyone!!!!